We share many things in life, you and I, including heartbreaks. No, this isn’t the kind of posts where you get a tissue box, reminisce, drown in your past or recent events ( which falls into the ‘Past’ category ) and chug a bottle of wine ( or juice, don’t hate ). No. We’re going to move forward. Together. Ready?
What is a heartbreak?
According to the online dictionaries and random examples I have read, it means “crushing grief, anguish or distress”. Almost all examples were related to failed relationships or losses. Which means, that a second party is involved. Yes, it is true, on most occasions. Our hearts can be broken due to disappointment or unfulfilled expectations we had on the loved ones. I discovered that sometimes, we can be the cause of our own heartbreak. More on that later (stay and read on?)
Let’s have some examples, shall we?
A and B have dated for years. A cheated on B. Relationship over. B is heartbroken.
C was waiting for a gift on their wedding anniversary but D completely forgot. C is heartbroken.
E loves F but F isn’t interested. E is heartbroken.
G wanted mommy/daddy to get an ice-cream but they didn’t have time. G is heartbroken.
H, I and J were BFFs until I and J drifted away and became BFFFFs, leaving H alone. H is heartbroken.
DO WE NEED MORE EXAMPLES? Nahh. Moving on!
Fun Fact #1 : First heartbeat can be heard during the 4th week of pregnancy.
Way before your limbs and everything were formed, your heart began to beat.
Fun Fact #2 : Our hearts beat 100,000 times a day
Could we remind our hearts to beat constantly had it not been a part of the autonomic nervous system? Stay in school kids.
We are all familiar with the pang of pain or a gaping hole in our heart areas when we’re upset, disappointed or grieving and THAT is what we call a heartbreak.
Now comes the tricky part.
We see the broken pieces of our heart all around us and we wonder how to put the pieces together. Which piece goes where? He/She knew my heart better, what would I do without them? Will someone come along and mend this broken heart? Familiar questions? Ya, boy!
So here’s my question : why don’t you start picking up the pieces and get to work?
Somewhere along this journey called ‘life’ we learn to give our hearts away. To rely on someone else for our happiness, which in turn depends on our expectations. We forget completely that everyone has their own heart. Why do we give ours away, hoping they would look after it? We also forget that the key to happiness, to our hearts, can only be us.
Remember I mentioned above that we could break our own hearts (thanks for staying, love you) ? I broke mine by being disappointed in myself for letting down my loved ones. I am my own worst enemy and I was losing the battle. I was absolutely down, picking on all my flaws, digging old wounds deeper. I expected someone to come talk to me or bring me out and I only waited for my heart to be mended. That’s when I thought, no, that’s not the way.
I asked myself what would make me happy. Iced coffee, a good laugh, a good conversation, inspirational videos and a gentle push to move forward. I went to town, bought an iced cappuccino, read a good book, watched Liza Koshy’s and Lilly Singh’s videos ( brown girl love ), chatted with really wonderful girl friends and came back to a bouquet of roses. I started picking up my broken pieces and mend my own broken heart. Then came the push I needed ( my hooooosband ).
Stop convincing yourself that your heart is not with you anymore. Be still and listen to that lil’ warrior pumping away to keep you alive. Dance to that beat only you can listen to. And love, pick up the pieces. You got this 😉 Here’s me pushing you to take that step forward (NOT LITERALLY I’M NOT VIOLENT)
You know your heart best. ❤